All my life, everything I have set out to do I have failed. All that is other than 2 things. The first being so convinced that I would follow my Parents into a world of alcohol abuse and that feeling that I had no way of combating it, so it would be just easier to lay down and let it happen. The other, was being heartbroken when I split with my childhood sweetheart when she cheated on me with my best friend after 3 years that I vowed to get her back. Now, during my early twenties the two met and as a drunken wreck I was reunited with her. When I finally sobered up I found myself married to her, a child on the way and having won her back I felt no trust or love toward her.
Well, it is now 7 years later, we split for 18 months in which time I met and lost the true love of my life, again through a mixture of depression and alcohol. So now, I am on the sofa in the marital home, despising every moment of it and cursing myself. I have learnt a lot (mostly the hard way) and am determined that things will change and every goal I set myself I will not achieve. Over the last 2 days the glorious sunshine has got the endorphins buzzing once again. I am positive for the first time in years about the future. It is only now I feel ready to set the goals which will be the backbone of my future. I hope and pray that the love of my life's path one day crosses mine and that I can fix what I so foolishly broke. At this time all I could say is "sorry" but talk is cheap so my actions will be the visualisation of my feelings.
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