Three rights still make a wrong

Work is going well. Pay rise, promotion and qualifications. My health is better than it has been for years. My personal life is stable with bridges being built with friends and relatives. I feel like how I have wanted and prayed I would for so long, yet something is still missing. I don't know what it is, or I do but suppress the acknowledgment of it for fear it may envelop me and drag me back to the despair of the past. I wish that I could have the strength of others and cast aside feelings and emotions in favour of monetary fulfillment and self gratification, but alas this ability is not part of my psychological profile. I am unsure as whether I find a way to develop this ability would be a positive or negative addition to my life, hence my reluctance to find out. I often come across people in my life who can appear to be fully committed and emotionally engaged to something or someone. Whether it be a job, pet or relationship and then have an amazing ability to be able to discard it almost at a whim and move on to something or someone else with apparently no thought whatsoever. As I say, I am yet to ascertain as to whether this is a good or a bad thing so that leaves me stuck between feeling both envy and pity for these people. Saying that, the fact I have an opinion at all speaks volumes  I guess. ....